That was funny, but still gets a big EWWWWWW!!

Paddy and Mick were driving down the road and Paddy say's "Look at that flock of cows over there". Mick says, "Herd of cows" Paddy says, "off course I've heard of cows, there's a flock of them over there".

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'

To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'

Mick goes for a job interview in a chemical factory. The manager asks "Have you ever worked with chemicals before?" "Yes," says Mick. The manager then asks, "Can you tell me what nitrate is?"
"Time and a half" answers Mick.

WIFE:
What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? ]


HUSBAND:

Definitely not!


WIFE:

Why not - don't you like being married?


HUSBAND:

Of course I do.


WIFE:

Then why wouldn't you remarry?


HUSBAND:

Okay, I'd get married again.


WIFE:

You would? (With a hurtful look on her face).


HUSBAND:

(Makes audible groan).


WIFE:

Would you live in our house?


HUSBAND:

Sure, it's a great house.


WIFE:

Would you sleep with her in our bed?


HUSBAND:

Where else would we sleep?


WIFE:

Would you let her drive my car?


HUSBAND:
[]Probably, it is almost new. [
[
WIFE:

Would you replace my pictures with hers?


HUSBAND:

That would seem like the proper thing to do.

WIFE:

Would she use my golf clubs?


HUSBAND:

No, she's left-handed.


WIFE:
- silence - -

Teragram, Your jokes are very funny. Did you go to parade for St. Patrick's celebration? They have a big parade in Boston.

Hello rockynrobyn. I'll be heading to the St Paddys day parade here in Belfast on wednesday. I'd love to go to New York sometime to celebrate it. They say it's fantastic.

We go to a place called the Claddagh Pub and then to the Hibernian Hall. I haven't been to the Boston parade since my daughter was little.